Tag Archives: militarism

It’s the army, stupid.

When you talk to pacifists, and I consider myself one, you often hear: “Well, we don’t want to abolish the army of course. You need them for peacekeeping missions in silly countries that need peacekeeping missions. Oh, and a guy in uniform can fill up a sandbag better than anyone in case a levee breaks.” What they forget to mention, obviously, are zombie outbreaks, large disgruntled apes, and bad-ass aliens. No, not immigrants, I mean actual beings from outer space that have come to pop a straw in your neck and drink your blood like a juice box. Armies are great. In addition, whereas a country’s police protects ordinary citizens against each other, armies protect a country’s institutions in case said citizens disagree a little too enthusiastically with the way things are going. And by ‘things’ I mean ‘money’.

Sometimes the army itself becomes so much a part of a country’s institutions and economic fabric, that you can’t really trust citizens to offer any meaningful critique as to its workings and goals. Of course nothing instills a wary public of an army’s raison d’ĂȘtre than the occasional war. In that sense, the Cold War has been the most elaborate attempt at having your cake and eating it. Out of control defense spending without the all-out destruction of civilian infrastructure. As good as anyway, barring the silly countries that were simply clamoring to host the odd proxy war. They’re fucked now, and in dire need of peacekeeping missions. Just the thing our guys are good at. You break it, you buy it, sort of. Too cynical, anyone? Must be the rain pouring down in buckets as Brussels prepares for tomorrow’s FĂȘte National, scripted and organized by, you guessed it. Thinking about our boys in Afghanistan who are doing such a brilliant job saving Afghans from themselves and the accrued results of 200 years of Western altruism.

Meanwhile on 23 July Egypt will look back on the 60 years that have elapsed since the army removed king Farouk from office. Evil tongues called him a puppet. If that was the case, I wouldn’t want to have been the guy pulling the strings. King Farouk was somewhat on the chubby side. Anyway, what a wonderful 60 years it’s been. One has to credit this band of military brothers for their unfailing business savvy, changing horses mid-stream, and thus riding out the cold war on the right side of history, pocketing billions in support from the greatest army on earth called the United States.

Believe everything they say.


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Filed under Arab Spring, Cairo, democracy, Middle East, Revolution

Revolution and the imagination deficit

Another week, and another house-hold name added to our library of fears. Mohammad Merah, a.k.a. the shooter of Toulouse, Al-Qaeda member, lone wolf, disenchanted youth, anti-Semite, Fox News’ Buddhist madman of Toolooz. Read all about it. Chances are you have come across some foaming-at-the-mouth tabloid bullshit-mongering, as well as the odd intellectual we-feel-for-the-victims-and-nothing-excuses-violence-but investigation into the social marginalization of France’s Muslim minority. Not to mention the cluster-fuck that is NATO’s occupation of Afghanistan. And all that jazz… At times I find it hard not to grow cynical to the point where I want to shut myself in a room and watch Star Trek reruns until my eyes bleed. This is one of those times.

There must be something we can do. There must be something we can agree on. ‘We’ as in ‘everyone from Mohammad Merah to Anders Breivik to Baruch Goldstein’. Right? Like, killing leads to more killing. Every time. I’m not saying that. History does. There are no mathematical equations to back this up, which can lead some to revel in implausible denial. “Sometimes killing can be a good thing. Like, if they would have, like, killed Hitler when he was a little toddler.” Pubescent fantasies aside, we can back up with mathematical equations the fact that killing is big business. Something close to two thousand billion government dollars a year worldwide, and rising -economic crisis be damned. We’re still on the same page, right? Mohammad? Anders? Baruch?

Perhaps cynicism isn’t such a bad thing after all. So much injustice, so many killings every day. Perhaps the only sane reaction, if somewhat lacking in imagination, is to go after ‘the others’. The guys who did this -whatever ‘this’ is. And there you have it: your two options. Rise up in anger, or resign to your Playstations, Kardashians or Klingons. Either way, business will go on as usual. Trillions are turned over, and millions die. That’s not an exaggeration by the way. Google it. That’s what it’s there for.

Unless… there is a middle way. Something to do with the Arab spring, education, and peaceful activism. Standing up to the global Mubarak that is the international arms trade. But that’s not for today. I currently lack the imagination, and the sun is out. I could do with a breath of fresh air. To be continued…

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Filed under Al-Qaeda, Arab Spring, Christianity, Egypt, Islam, Judaism, Middle East, minorities, Revolution, seismic changes